Just now I find myself surrounded by questions of attention. Maybe it’s because I’m teaching a class via Zoom about being better at hosting Zoom calls (cue the “coffee table book about coffee tables” jokes here) while also reading Tim Hwang’s book, “The Subprime Attention Crisis.” Whatever the cause, it’s got me thinking critically about attention as a depleting natural resource.
Back to the Zoom question. Salespeople and other execs decry the lack of attention and focus they receive on screen-to-screen calls, especially with bigger groups. Microphones are muted, cameras are dark. Even when they aren’t, eyes and minds are elsewhere. “Why,” many ask, “aren’t they paying any attention to me?” We tell ourselves that back when we were all in person it was better (it wasn’t) and that we used to be able to read body language (we couldn’t) and built a deep connection with our customers and colleagues (we didn't.)
Back to Tim Hwang’s book. If we accept the premise that attention in today’s world is finite – a scarce resource – we start to understand how to truly earn and deserve the attention of others, whether it be on Zoom, in a conversation with a friend or spouse, or in assorted in person “real world” interactions.
The key is being Attention Neutral. Like Carbon neutrality, it means we generate at least as much as we take out. In an honest evaluation, most of us would have to admit that where it comes to responsible stewardship of attention, we’re driving away in gas guzzlers and leaving the lights and AC running. We are simply demanding far more attention – Watch my presentation, check out my TikTok, read my email! – than we are putting into the world.
Back to Zoom. Want attention? Then pay more than your share. Do the work up front to really understand those on the other side of the screen. Engage in pre-meeting communication and planning to really align with their needs. Greet people when they show up. Have a second question to ask and really care about the answer.
As for me, repentant sinners make the best preachers. For a couple of decades (OK, longer) I never met a microphone I didn’t like. And yes, it’s probably still the needle in my arm. But I’m going to work to be Attention Neutral going forward: for all I get, I’ll try to put back that much and more. I won’t just listen as much as I talk; I’ll care as much as I want to be cared about.
You read just over 400 words in the last couple of minutes. I owe you.
Original Illustration by Eric Sands.
It’s been said that learning is finding out what you already know. If you’ve been in a workshop with me, or if you’ve brought me in to work with your team, you’ve seen these themes play out. People speak in terms of being reminded of what works and confess I don’t know why I ever stopped doing that! The sense of déjà vu and reconnection with one’s own experience and values is an everyday thing. So what is it that you already know that I’m likely to remind you of?
Evidence is everywhere. But we only get what we look for. And when we examine it – thoughtfully, critically, unsentimentally – it tells us where we really stand… what needs to be done… how to move forward intentionally. We become better forecasters, better time managers, better teammates, better stewards of company resources – better sellers.
Empathy is the oxygen of your ecosystem. It sustains people and relationships and also acts as fuel for the fires of creativity, production and perseverance. You are A leader in this ecosystem, not THE leader. You'll lead by constantly referencing a very short list of recurring questions.
Right now, there’s an awful lot of showing up. There have been some immediate moves on diversity hiring, and a whole lot of public statements being made — including my own. But showing up is one thing: staying in is entirely another.
The now-famous New Yorker cartoon told us “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” On Zoom, everybody knows.
I do not know what it’s like to navigate life and business as a woman or an African American or an immigrant. I never will. I probably can’t ever really understand the micro-aggressions – the small acts of humiliation – that people who don’t look like me suffer every week. But I can and must take account of the micro-opportunities that have been there for me all along.
Not obsessing about time is one thing: re-imagining how we use it is entirely another. What can I say yes to, today? Non-traditional scheduling options. Re-imagining your relationship with the calendar and the clock won't just happen. It all starts with you choosing your own narrative about possibility.
You're not alone if you're feeling overwhelmed and broken by the perceived enormity of the challenges. Indeed, if you find yourself struggling intellectually with the entire issue it will, in fact, break you. But the best managers and sellers - the best executives of every stripe - all seem to have the same rhythm. They slow it down. They break it down. They solve one problem and then the next. And if you solve enough problems, you get to come home.
At the end of this stage there won’t be a return to normal or anything close: there will be a transition to a brand-new era. And none of us will ever say, "I wish I’d waited longer to change."
Here at Upstream Group, it’s day 50 of The Siege. Having looked back over these weeks of recovery, reinvention and writing, I’m sharing my bullet list of ideas that have sustained and invigorated me. Hope you find them helpful.
Stopping the Clock breaks the tyranny of the calendar. It allows us to start living again in the present… to focus on the next hour. We can now start visualizing what productivity and joy and excellence look like in our altered world. We have only now. Stopping the Clock let's us make the most of it.
Dwight Eisenhower famously said "Plans are worthless, but planning is everything." Today I think rather the opposite is true. As we navigate the disconnection, isolation, disruption and anxiety of today’s pandemic and tomorrow’s shattered economy, I think The Plan is what matters. Let me explain.